This 99th post will be my last. I can’t make it to 100 as I previously intended. I am “spent” of my particular Mormon concerns, at least to the degree that I want to write about them.
I’m may be fooling myself about this, but I hope not. Of course, Mormonism will remain with me – as part of my past and as a continuing presence through my immediate and extended family. Also, I will at least continue to feel these concerns, mostly related to how one best confronts belief-claims, in more general terms. This makes this blog-end part of my transition to responding to the world more broadly. The world is bigger than Mormonism and I’m ready to feel proportionally smaller in its midst by dropping Mormonism which has circumscribed my attentions.
My previous three posts were simply the three letters associated with my resignation from the LDS Church. This was both an easy way to get to 100 and a way to express this moving beyond. That being said, I want to acknowledge that this “administrative action” was easy to complete and, more importantly, that the LDS officials involved were gracious and respectful. Perhaps I should have ended made this move six years ago rather than letting myself be drawn into by Mormon themed podcasts that provoked my rhetorical backlashes. Then, I suppose they uncovered unfinished business. My disaffection 27 years ago was not caused by problematical Internet revelations about Mormon history and scripture. What is revealing – self revealing – is how encountering these pressed me to re-rationalize my loss of faith but constructing a second argument based on new lines of evidence that complemented the first. The original argument showed itself to be insufficient.
I’m glad I’ve kept this blog anonymous. Best not drag loved ones through 99 rough reflections that reflect such an unprivileged and soon to be dated perspective. If there comes a time when someone close to me really cares to know what I was thinking about Mormonism between February 2013 and February 2015, and asks me, it will be here. And after reading it we’ll talk about how my thoughts and feelings have changed.
I think I’ll start looking for truth in fiction. This inclination has been growing of late, thanks to my return to the works of John Updike, George Saunders, E. L. Doctorow, Albert Camus and Sinclair Lewis. Most recently I was struck by following three quotations from the novelist Julian Barnes’s in his memoir, Nothing to Be Frighted Of. 
“But the novelist (me again) is less interested in the exact nature of that truth, more in the nature of the believers, the manner in which they hold their beliefs, and the texture of the ground between the competing narratives.”
“I do not mistrust [memories], rather I trust them as workings of the imagination, as containing imaginative as opposed to naturalistic truth. ”
“[Fiction] wants to tell all stories, in all their contrariness, contradiction, and irresolvability; at the same time it wants to tell the one true story, the one that smelts and refines and resolves all the other stories. The novelist is both bloody back-row cynic and lyric poet, drawing on Wittgenstein’s austere insistence—speak only of that which you can truly know—and Stendhal’s larky shamelessness.”
Still, I equally want to engage in a more serious study of how to think properly, starting with the remarkable book Epistemology and the Psychology of Human Judgment . Perhaps a dual approach will make my progress toward the smaller, tractable, and available truths more productive. These are the truths that might actually benefit me and others in our relationships. I am thinking of the close truths that point to being more alert to, and less wrong about, the moment-to-moment experiences that produce proximate meaningfulness, which may be the most real. I have friends and family that may need my substantive help, including material help, in the next decade or two, perhaps three. I need to prepare for them while I can.
To those who have visited, or will visit this blog, I hope you can make your peace with Mormonism and affect it positively, whether that means making it a more a prosocial institution that moves beyond its more grotesque points of dogma, or helping to marginalize it if it doesn’t.
That’s JT’s final turn-on-Mormonism.
 Nothing to Be Frightened Of, By Julian Barnes: http://www.amazon.com/Nothing-Be-Frightened-Julian-Barnes/dp/0307389987/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424902382&sr=1-1&keywords=nothing+to+be+frightened+of
 Epistemology and the Psychology of Human Judgment, by Michael A. Bishop and J.D. Trout: http://www.amazon.com/Epistemology-Psychology-Judgment-Michael-Bishop/dp/0195162307/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1424902411&sr=1-1&keywords=epistemology+psychology